didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
