I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
