GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
