Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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