YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
