Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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