If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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