so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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