So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
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i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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