Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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