Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Text me some of your sweat
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize