You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
