Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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