I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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