I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize