how can u be prego again
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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