it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize