Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16

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(310): View more from California

the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights

Fav 13 5245 1427
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.

Fav 8 4135 1097
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(904): View more from Florida

Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

Fav 7 3042 1256
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(214): View more from Texas

I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

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(216): View more from Ohio

And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often

Fav 3 1441 645
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...

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(682): View more from Texas

For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...

Fav 0 14 30
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