I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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