god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
