Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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