There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
