I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
