Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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