Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
