Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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