shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
