Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
