I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
