I bet he comes in French.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
