How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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