ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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