Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
