dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
