so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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