Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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