no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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