He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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