No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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