i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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