either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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