IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
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My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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