I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
