I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize