I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
