she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My breasts were aching with rage.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
