Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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