i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
