We won't sleep together?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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