i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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