im so drunk with asians
where?
always
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
