I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
