hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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