life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you had me at cake vodka
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
