bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
