No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
we should paint friendship bongs
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