I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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