one might say we're banned from that church
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize