No awkward lesbian experiences without me
there's paper in my vomit.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So. Much. Porn.
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