Soap is not a condiment
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
