someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
