Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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